Juli's The Way It Is

Why Are You Here? Who is This For?

Well, I hope you really aren’t reading this to find out why you are here. As if I would know that. But I can tell you that this little gem of a blog is for everyone. Not that everyone will appreciate my little space. But everyone is certainly welcome.

Editors – I welcome editors from all walks. From the rush world of magazine editors to the politically correct world of news editors, from nonfiction editors to phonebook proofers. Tell me all about it. Please don’t edit my blogs.

Authors — Fiction editor? Vent here about how you’re misunderstood and how editor ogres are always chopping your beautiful prose to pieces. Sorry. Nonfiction author? Journalist? Let’s chat. Without you, I would be the fry girl at Blimpy Burger.

Teachers —Hey–I’m here for you, man. We’re here for you (assuming someone else joins us). Do you want to know where the phrase “good on ya” came from? Word origins are my specialty. Want to know a clever way to remember the difference between lay and lie? Ask and ye shall receive. By the way, shame on those of you who teach your students English ala AP style. That guide sells more copies than the Chicago Manual of Style only because it’s half the price, half the size, and because you sheeples require it in your classrooms. You perpetuate the cycle, without thought that someone before you might have gotten in wrong. If the Chicago Manual of Style is too comprehensive for you and you prefer a shorter, concise work to summarize our fabulously complex and intricate language, might I suggest Strunk/White’s Elements of Style? Although lacking in the area of nitpicky details such as whether or not “1980s” calls for an apostrophe (it does not, even though MsWord tells you it does), it condenses hoards of rules into ten or twelve essential ones that if followed, will produce crisp, clear, and direct sentences that inadvertently follow hundreds of grammar rules. Strunk is my hero for the sole reason that he had a knack for chopping superfluous wording. Chop chop! (My kids hate this when I “look over” their schoolwork—really it must be horrifying to be the child of a copy editor.) But E.B. White has an equally wonderful knack for writing in a way that is so direct and so clear, that it goes unnoticed. Amazing. Put the two together and you have masterful words of wisdom. That was such a tangent. Where was I? I am often distracted; by shiny things, by food, by things running quickly past me…such as bunnies… Oh yes, the AP Style Guide… yicky. I can offer supporting statistics later as to why this guide outsells the CMOS, and it has nothing to do with quality. So Teach, want to continue our lovely chat?

Students—NO, I’m not going to rewrite your doctoral thesis on coal mining in China, you slackers. But you can still join in the fun, too. I’m Chicago Style proficient and AP Style not-so-proficient (I edit AP Style upon request, but I don’t have to like it—thus my note above in the “Teacher” heading). We can play Ask the Editor. It’s a fun game.

Clients and Everyone Else—Welcome to my quiet little blog. I hope you like it here. Feel free to hang around and read some. If you’d like—chat some.

 So, welcome friends!

This blog is brought to you by the letter E

I did always like Sesame Street, and I always liked the Cookie Monster. I have a Cookie Monster coffee cup that makes me happy in the morning—and there isn’t much that makes me happy in the morning.

Watching Sesame Street was probably when I first fell in love with the Letter E. I also had a special appreciation for the kitty on Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and for Spiderman; two shows that came on around the same time. Although the thought didn’t occur to me at the time, Cookie Monster rarely said anything other than “Cookie!” or “Yummy!” (Maybe he counted too, I don’t seem to recall; but I like cookies, and I like to say “Cookie!” just the way he said it.)

The kitty didn’t say much either—she just said, “Meow meow, meow meow meow meow.” I like to talk that way, too—it scares people. Spiderman also never spoke. There was comfort in the silence. He just had bubbles over his head so you could read his thoughts. I wanted to do this too and tried it on several occasions, but I never could figure out how to make the bubble follow me. Then there was Animal from the Muppets—he rocked. I don’t think he said anything either other than some indecipherable screaming and flailing about on the drums. Are you seeing the non-speaking trend here?

Well, my friend the Letter E is often silent as well.

The Letter E, in addition to being silent often, has the ability to do some amazing things. It is found in so very many English words. It is misunderstood and often confuses people—particularly new readers and foreigners.

When it stands next to the other vowels, it makes them sound completely different than if they were alone.

Sometimes, when it stands next to another letter, it takes over completely, engulfing the other letter—the only sound to be heard being the E.

Silent like a ninja, it commands attention from the other vowels when standing ever so quietly at the end of a word, forcing them to sound long instead of short.

It can flip upside down; it can wear two dots on its head. It can sport a slash over it this way or that. It is multilingual. 

The Letter S or M or T might get more attention. But none are as clever or as powerful as the Letter E.

And that is why I love the Letter E.

Technical editing is unlike fiction editing. Yes, I have copy edited works of fiction. And I have copy edited autobiographies that have resembled fiction. But the narrower field of technical editing held a certain appeal…

First, there are perks that come with technical editing that simply are not available when editing fiction.

·         Take, for example, the insurance training manual I proofed. Without this wealth of information that was suitable for those aspiring to be licensed agents, I would have missed two errors that my insurance company had made on my policy. Catching the two errors saved me hundreds—yes hundreds—of dollars on my automobile insurance (no, I’m not a little green lizard). I learned a lot about casualty, life, property, and other types of insurance. And instead of me paying them to learn this, by way of correcting a few errors in their text they ended up paying me to learn this. See if you can find a better deal.

·         Another example is the e-book I edited on how to obtain government contracts. This sells for a hefty price on the Web. The cost to me? Since I rewrote most of it, this was not merely free–of course they paid me to learn how one goes about obtaining government contracts, how the entire bidding process works, and much more. I returned the favor by rewriting a line or two…..or 30,000.

·         How about the academic paper on Mormonism written by an over-educated person who has as many degrees as I have shoes? (Don’t worry, I chastised him on everyone’s behalf for setting the bar ridiculously high.) Or how about the grammar study guide? (Okay, I didn’t learn much there–we’ll call that one a contribution or perhaps a refresher.)

·         I know everything you need to know about piloting a plane (well, not everything—I couldn’t actually fly one, I just know what you need to do if you want to become one—if you live in Canada. See how useful that could be?), being a doctor, and a lawyer. 

·         I know everything there is to know about living in a lighthouse on an island–just in case I decide to do that some day (in this case, I really do mean I know everything—again useful, don’t you think?). 

·         Thanks to the rewriting of over 300 (yes, 300) sentence correction study questions for the GMAT, I could take the GMAT in 30 seconds flat, blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back in a language I don’t speak while standing on my head if ever the need arises.

·         I know how to write and submit press releases, how to run a small business, how to market your business, and other entrepreneurial skills. People pay thousands for these seminars! (As it turns out, people also pay thousands to have people like me edit those seminar transcripts! he he.)

·         I know all about Russian migrant worker laws, which could prove useful if I chose to branch out into a new market and needed to outsource some work to Russians. Or Turkish citizens working in Russia. Illegally.

·         I know things about South America, obscure American history facts, and so much more.

Being a technical copy editor is like being a mini-expert in crazy-odd subjects–some useful, some not-so-useful. Or having a backstage pass at a concert. Or better said: having an all-day pass for many concerts, but for a concert where all the bands are not so good. Personally, I like to think of it as going to school for free, without being tested or graded.

It really doesn’t get much better than this, folks.

Perk 2 Coming Soon

Juli

Some people lobby for world peace; others to stop animal testing. Millions of dollars are spent each year to protect some rare species of tree frog that I’ve never seen (which makes sense, being so rare) and the white whales (blue?). You can join organizations to fight hunger abroad or at home (if you’re abroad, are your options the same, and if so, should we unite for fiscal reasons?)—you can even donate money to repair the homes of flood victims who accidentally or purposefully built on a flood plain (I don’t think you can ask who is who before you donate). All very noble causes, indeed. But how would you rank them as far as importance? The supporters of the aforementioned causes would undoubtedly put their cause at the top of the Most Worthy list. Who is to sort out which of them is right?

Well, I also have a cause that I find worthy, and that is redlining the inappropriate use of our glorious language. It has been butchered for far too long. Stop rolling your eyes. And red is such a wonderful color, is it not? At this point, you are likely thinking I’m a bit kooky. You’ll get over it.

Now, my dear literal-thinking bloggers, it is not my intent to take my little red pencil and start marking up street signs and menus. Not that I haven’t thought of doing that. I can almost picture my docile little red pencil, lurking in my purse…. Just waiting for an error to slip up and be noticed. And there never seems to be a shortage of mistakes, such as menu items that were made plural that should have been singular. Someone erroneously substituting an em dash for a hyphen. A pamphlet containing a comma instead of the more proper semicolon. Words just pop up everywhere that lack the necessary hyphen (why is that one so hard?). Words divided that are not divisible. Superfluous wording! Akkkk! And then, I envision my little red pencil coming to life (with my assistance of course; to assume the pencil could be a sentient being would simply be foolish) and correcting the error on the paper (or plastic, aluminum, steel, and whatnot). I want to redline everything!! And what would happen if when I did that, the electronic file from which the error-filled document sprung forth also changed! Wouldn’t that be a beautiful thing? Can you just imagine?

It is the age of technology, after all. But so far, my redlining activities have been limited to the red-colored tracking changes feature gifted us by Mr. Gates via MSWord. Although the dictionary he offers is subpar, the tracking feature is more than adequate. I have used my little red pencil to edit a document on actual paper once or twice (gasp!), but this is a rarity that is seldom seen in today’s advanced society.

So, for now I must settle for redlining documents electronically. I may not be able to get to every document in the whole world, but it still is my mission. A grand mission, I know. But they say (I say they because I don’t know who said it and I’m too short on time to Google it; and quite frankly, I just don’t care) if you don’t set your goals high, you’ll never reach them. No, that’s not right. If you don’t set your goals high, there would be nothing to reach. Hmmm… If at first you don’t succeed… no, that’s not right either, dang it. Okay, you all know what I mean. If you don’t aim high you have no chance of ending up there…or something like that. And whoever said that is so super cheesy.

I hope someone quotes me someday saying something cheesy, too. Maybe that will be my new mission, if I fail at my redlining one.

Onward!

Juli